Q: What's the best place to shop for a soccer shirt?
A: New Jersey.
Q: What were the soccer star's first words as a baby?
A: Look Ma, no hands.
Q: Why do soccer players have so much trouble eating popcorn?
A: They think they can't use they're hands.
Q: How did the soccer field end up as a triangle?
A: Somebody took a corner.
Q: What does a soccer player and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks.
Q: Why are soccer players never asked to dinner?
A: Because they're always dribbling.
Q: Which insect didn't play well in goal?
A: The fumble bee.
Q: How did the soccer field get all wet?
A: The players dribbled all over it.
Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A. So he could tie the score.
Coaching Lesson:
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old soccer players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we play together as a team and have fun playing soccer?" The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a bad name. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb nitwit' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
Soccer Friends:
Ms. Green began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Ms Green approached the girl and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, she noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Ms Green offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Ms Green then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
